


the belonging you seek

by rendezvouzkylo



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Freeform, Post-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-04
Updated: 2017-12-18
Packaged: 2019-02-10 14:31:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12913872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rendezvouzkylo/pseuds/rendezvouzkylo
Summary: the one where it takes them forever to fall in love and I make everyone want to die in anticipation





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hi! this is my first ever fic, i'll post to it weekly. my chapters are short. feedback is appreciated, please be kind!
> 
> enjoy!
> 
> -meg

**HIM**

A coughing and sputtering fit ensues, he musters up a weak whisper, “…Hello?”

 

Silence.

 

Through his groggy state, he takes into account the lights which create a warm atmosphere as they outline the

ceiling and the floor of the room he has been brought to. A small kitchen fills the corner to his right; complete with

sink and food pantry. A secured door is opposite where he lay. He has not been fixed to any restraints but he may

as well be, he feels his own body is too fatigued to move, only his thoughts are free to wander the space. He notices

he has been rid of the weight of weapons, heavy layers of robes, and the memory of how he got here. The force-back

hit him, propelling him into the past.

 

_The tie-fighter controls make him feel powerful, his mission was to find the girl he has heard and thought so much about._

_A swift dodge. Aim. Shoot! Don’t fail. Maneuver. Target locked. She defeated you. Then, he lost control, the enemy took advantage_

_of his distracted piloting. Power was replaced with panic, the planet’s trees quickly approached. He braced for impact._

 

The vision leaves as quickly as it had come. A weak shout passes through his busted lips as he shivers on his cot, abruptly snapping

back into reality. Sweat beads on his forehead and his fists are clenched tightly at his sides. A set of quiet footsteps padded down

the hall toward the cot where he lay, bruised and disheveled.

 

As best he could, he gathered himself together and patiently awaited the hesitant outline of the figures on the outside.

They exchanged an inaudible conversation, then unlocked the door. He could barely open his eyes much less move his head.

 

His first instinct was to stand, to be courageous in the face of his captors; easier said than done I suppose.

 

The large door slid open to reveal a thin brunette, she too looked raggedy and exhausted. Next to her, a man stood with his

arms at his sides, his face was stoic but he was no doubt intimidated. He wore a rebel officer uniform and she wore what she always

does. She excused the man, he walked cautiously turning back ever so often before retreating back into the corridor and out of sight.

 

His attention slowly moved to this girl standing a respectable distance away. She held no physical weapons. She stood pensive

looking him over, he returned the gaze and she knit her eyebrows together in response.

 

“You.” She muttered. “Do you remember?” He shook his head.

 

She looked down at the floor for quite some time before speaking again. “You… You look better.”

 

He parted his lips and took a deep breath before exhaling weakly on the words, “I would like to agree with you, but the reality is another story.”

 

She crossed the floor without a word to the counter on his right, his eyes followed, and she was aware of it. There she

recovered two glasses, she opened a cabinet above her head to grab a pouch, then she removed the seal and poured water

into each glass. Her gait was confident at first as she picked up the glasses and walked to him, but as she neared she slowed.

His eyes met hers and he fell into another force-back.

 

_He cradled his head with his arms and screamed in agony. woosh. A bright light shone onto his quivering body._

_pain. pain. pain. It flooded his thoughts, he whimpered unapologetically. woosh. He heard footsteps, they are coming for_

_him, he will die here in the cold, fire from his fallen fighter licking at his skin. A hand came to rest gently on his shoulder, he_

_grunted in protest, he knew this was his end._

 

Slowly this time, he faded back into his body, He opened his eyes to see the girl is on her knees at his side with his glass

perched on the side table patiently waiting. She removed a rag from a pouch at her waist and dabbed away the sweat gathered

on his forehead and neck.

 

She then resumed the glass and held it to his lips. He recoiled, offended at her offer. She insisted the glass, and eventually

he was forced to oblige. She could not replenish the water fast enough, he sucked the room dry. She only nodded in approval

and collected the mess of cups.

 

“You need to rest. I’ll be back.” She said with an edge of annoyance.

 

With that she was gone, meanwhile he fell into the kind of sleep that swallows you whole.

 

 

 

**HER**

She sits in her cabin which neighbors that of the dark prince, in fact, he resides in her quarters for now.

 

She can feel when he wakes, it’s as though the sun rises within her, and likewise, when he sleeps, it sets.

 

It is strange to share such a thing with someone else, especially him, he’s so cold and arrogant. However something

inside her yearns for the danger, mystery, elegance he possesses.

 

 

_**KNOCK.KNOCK.** _

 

 

“Miss, it’s the general, she’s requesting you specifically.” A girl’s voice and frame stand on the other side

of the sheer glass door. Kima.

 

She enters the code and the door slides open toward the ceiling, the girl is equipped with a blaster and smiles up at her.

 

“Goodmorning miss, please let me escort you to the general’s quarters.” Kima offered politely, and she followed in stride

beside her, letting Kima lead the way.

 

General Organa was standing in front of a large holographic map, she turned when the door opened. Kima nodded at the

leader of the alliance in reverence and turned proudly out the door to leave the two to converse.

 

“Ma’am..?”

 

“You know where he is?” Leia asked immediately.

 

She paused, understanding Leia is referencing her son, who has been accounted missing for 57 days and counting.

No one has seen or heard from him since his reported crash. No one knows that Ren had crashed straight into Rey, and

he has been in her unsanctioned care ever since. A terrible as a liar as she is, she must, for their fate rests in her hands.

 

“I’m sorry to report that I do not.”

 

“Then we must keeps our hopes alive that he does not return to Snoke’s influences, the farther he is, the more likely

our prince will return.” A hopeful general meets her gaze and guilt streams through her veins, she is aching to expel

the truth.

 

Though, the truth is not that he would return, but that he would be cold and disappointing to the people of the alliance.

There is very little tolerance for lukewarm supporters of the cause. The same cause that turned a young Ben against it and his

parents in the first place. She has a motivation of her own to defeat the first order and it begins with befriending the man

in her living quarters.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finals are kicking my butt, I wrote this half awake! be kind. 
> 
> -meg

**HIM**

There was a small clang of a cup and dish from the counter, he wakes from his sleep, but does not open his eyes.

A familiar warm presence floods his chest, and he is reminded of the force-bond, he simply feels her presence; he

cannot decide if he enjoys or hates this.Instead of dwelling on his thoughts he speaks.

 

“Are you always this noisy, girl?” He mumbles, and she stops her movements.

 

“Excuse me?” She snarks.

 

“I only hope you aren’t intending on anyone sleeping with all of that noise.”

 

She steps near the cot and finally he opens his groggy eyes, he looks at the girl, who holds a plate of haphazardly

arranged foods, presumably the left overs. Looking closer he realizes she has chopped everything into more manageable

pieces. He carefully adjusts to a more upright position, and she sits on her knees preparing to spoon feed the dark prince.

 

“I can handle it myself, little girl,” stubbornly pushed her hands back and picks for himself from the plate with his ungloved hands.

 

She observes the scars that cover his fingers. She doesn’t react outwardly but the hurt pulses through the bond, and somewhere

inside he regretted it. She sat and glanced from his face, to his tattered clothes, to the cot on which he had messed the blankets

from their tidy positions. She thought out loud foolishly without an ounce of humility.

 

“Isn’t it scary?” She struggles on her next words, “…the dark.”

 

He is supposed to say, no. He was trained to. Instead his next words surprised them both.

 

“It can be.” He muttered.

 

She blinked and looked to him with confusion, the questions only snowballed,

 

“I don’t understand, why did you kill all those people, betray your family, kill your own father?”

 

“Power. It’s all people like you and me need,” He said behind a full mouth of bread, emotionless, “I found my belonging with

the first order.”

 

She considered his words and focused on the entirety of the room, specifically avoiding him as he wrapped up his ravenous eating.

The phrase you and me echoed back to her in his deep voice. He weakly shifted his shoulders then looked up at the girl, who seemed

conflicted, her eyes flitted around the room, glassy.

 

“Rey?” He questioned, her attention immediately followed her name, her name flowed so effortlessly out of his mouth, a power within itself.

 

“Yes?” She said simply. “You will find your belonging.” He reassured, kindly as he could.

 

She stands to her feet and shakes her head, her hands crumpled from flat palms into fists at her sides. She took the now empty plate back

to the counter and lets it crash unceremoniously into the cleaning basin, she fumes red, hot crossed their bond.

 

He doesn’t need to look at her to know this, he feels it, the rage comes from a dark place, his place.

 

“I will never belong to the first order,” She hissed out, “Kylo.”

 

Not with the same gentleness he had said her name, not at all.

 

**KYLO**

The days bled together, he grew stronger in small increments; today he can sit up without feeling dizzy, he can place his bare feet on the

cold floor and feel the hum of the heater under his toes. Rey enters twice a day; once to change behind the divider from her sleepwear into

her usual ensemble, and a second time during her training breaks to bring him food, water, and bacta patches for his injuries.

 

In between her slipping him sleeping capsules in his food, Kylo quickly caught on that Rey is the only one who know he’s here, she snuck

him onto a satellite rebel base. He did not know why, nor did he ask; he quite enjoyed his time here, being out of the hands of the supreme

leader and away from the dangers of disappointment.

 

Rey had already made her two visits of the day which meant that the sleeping capsule will soon begin their effects, and he will sleep through

the night. A cool breeze climbed under his black long-sleeved shirt, goose-pimples coated his arms. He groaned as he sat up to bring a cover

over his body; he pulled the warm layer above his shoulders and laid back on the cot.

 

The familiar all-consuming sleep washed over him, and within moments he lay unconscious in a vulnerable slumber.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello people! 3 things to discuss!
> 
> firstly, last jedi was everything i'd hoped it would be rian did an amazing job! 
> 
> secondly, this is my favorite chapter yet. 
> 
> thirdly, thank you for your support and kindness toward me and my lil story! 
> 
>  
> 
> -meg

**REY**

 

Rey strode across the deck, past multiple x-wing technicians who sprayed sparks and laughed with one another.

Today she felt drained, training was oftentimes burdensome. She wished she could surrender to her fatigue and

lay in her own bed, but a messy haired prince already occupies the cot. A cot she once complained so much about

to the others onboard, but now missed terribly as she has had come to rest in a hammock intended for crew members.

She only now realized how her continual protests must have sounded so pretentious. 

 

Her feet guided her to her door, her fingers thoughtlessly punched a code into the keypad. She yawned arms stretched

above her head and all, when the glass slid up Rey was not faced with her restless hammock— but her belongings, her

newly appreciated cot _,_ and _Kylo_. A conflict instantly began in the very pit of her stomach. Her morals were begging her to

close the port door and endure another sleepless night.

 

The force bond was pulsing, it was slow and steady, yet undeniable.

 

Something made her close the door behind her, something told her to change into her own sleepwear, something called her

to the side of the cot; to sit beside the only man to ever be in her quarters, her bed, even more intimately her mind.

 

Her fingertips itched as she dared imagine what his hair must feel like, it looked tousled and much different from when they first met on star killer

base. It was now flat and tired.

 

Tired.

 

She was reminded of her own weariness. Rey was careful to stick to the very edge of the cot

so she would not touch Kylo, regardless of him, she’d be damned if she didn’t sleep in her own bed tonight. 

 

Her thoughts refused to quiet, her body relaxed into the soft bed beneath her, the nippy air curled around her body and caused her to shiver.

In the dark she fumbled for a covering of some sort, she reached below the edge of the cot desperately, her fingers pawed at the floor she came

across a soft unfamiliar material and scooped it up. She went by a dim light and  discovered it belongs Kylo, a black sweater-like article with

small holes charred into the fabric.

 

She scoffed at the garment but refusing would surely result in catching an illness of some sort.

Rey slowly, regretfully, pulled on the extra layer, it instantly warmed her. She hated it. She pulled the fabric to her nose, it smelled like fire

and fresh linen. Movement startled her and she turned toward the figure outlined in the dark. 

 

He laid on his side facing her now, his eyes closed, his face was relaxed and his lips were parted slightly. Rey noted that he looked peaceful in his moment.

 

‘ _I suppose even the enemy must rest occasionally,’_ she thought in an attempt to rationalize her actions. 

 

Rey forgot was not completely alone.

 

_‘So does a scavenger.’_ A growly voice echoed through the bond. 

 

Her eyes flew open while his remained shut. She gripped the hilt of her saber which sits glued to her hip. She thought

about how he could be so careless, so casual, so inconsiderate?

 

Rey understood her actions could be described the same, but

she was never intentionally crossing the bond, never deliberately making it stronger.

 

Now that would be careless.

 

Ceaseless communication between the two of them was not desirable and she was sure he would appreciate her conclusion. 

 

In a wind of anger she cut off the bond’s humming and pulsing. With the energy now gone, she again felt tired

and cozied into the softest cot in all the galaxies. 

 

 

**KYLO**

 

The bond around them sizzled, he sweats, she’s panting, he’s hovering above the _girl._ She looks up at him puzzled

as normal, he tilted his head in thought looking down at her past the light sabers dividing them as if they aren’t

even there.

 

What a concept, being together without the safety of a weapon poised on your hip.

 

It would almost be romantic, flurries floated around them as if they were in a snow globe the stars were beautiful

and the purple glow of their sabers looked amazing as it caught the dips and curves of her features.

 

Being that close he could get a good look at her, she was indeed beautiful; He thought very highly of her little

upturned nose that demanded respect.

 

He liked her arrogance toward him and how Rey was always intentional, that was admirable. 

It is a quality training Jedi must adhere to. Every step had a meaning and a place, Luke always had

rhythm and fluidity.

 

It is obvious he is her instructor. 

 

He looks down towards Rey, she continues to struggle against him-

 

Wait, No-

 

She’s doing what he believed to be unthinkable, their lightsabers are sheathed and Rey stands in the snow shivering. 

 

She opens her mouth to speak, but he is pulled from sleep, his eyes regretfully open and he is met with quite the sight.

Rey lays motionless on the opposite side of the cot, she is wearing one of his uniform pieces holes burned into material.

A curiosity took over, Ren eyes her carefully, he quickly concludes that she is still asleep, the bond is quiet and cold.

 

Kylo watched her steady breathing; rise, fall, repeat. He notes that she twitches in her sleep, maybe she is dreaming.

 

Daringly he wonders if she dreams of him, but he pushes it away recalling she has nothing but contempt for him.

 

He swiftly swings his feet over the edge of his side of the bed to sit up, he holds his head in his hands…he dizzied and a

force back crashed like a wave over him,

 

_It smells like wet rock. It is cold, he is cold. With sight similar to peering though a fishbowl, he watches boots creep cautiously_

_into sight, the captor bent down and the face he was met with shocked him, Rey. She spoke but the quality of he voice is distorted,_

_he did not understand._

 

_She smiled. A real one. A sudden rush of warmth._

 

He snapped his head up from its hanging state, he still sat on the edge of the cot, the warmth he felt had not disappeared with the

vision.

 

It means she is awake.

 

He turned to look over his shoulder to see that she is indeed awake and she looks so annoyed.

She glanced in his direction, the eye contact was enough to cause her to rise to her feet, her posture was defensive and she was careful

never to fully turn her back to him. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> contact:  
> Tumblr: @rendezvouzkylo.tumblr.com  
> e-mail: rendezvouzkylo@gmail.com
> 
> I would love to talk to all of you, please reach out! :)


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